Airy Tales

Once upon a time, there were people with inflatable fantasies…

Why small word counts are good

Posted By on October 24, 2010

As we get closer to the deadline for the latest Prose that Blows contest, the comments about the 750-word limit are surfacing. “I can’t do it,” said one person recently. “I need at least 5 pages.”

Nonsense. It can be done; it’s been done before, and everyone has the ability to tell a story. So it’s not “I can’t”; this is, at best, “I don’t know how,” and at worst, “I won’t.”

Let’s start with not knowing how. When it comes to writing under a word count, it’s truly a question of aligning your thinking. If you come up with a story idea and sincerely believe it cannot be told in less than 3000 words…write it that way. That’s the wrong story idea for this event, so write it down and think of a different scenario, one that can be told in less words. Alternately, you can choose a completely different form of storytelling and use that to restrain yourself — a journal, a newspaper article, a poem. Bottom line, there is no reason to feel like your first idea is your Prose That Blows idea — match your intent to your inspiration.

Then there’s the “won’t” option, which, in my experience, comes from arrogance — the “I am too brilliant and detailed a writer to be constrained by mere word counts — every word I write is sacrosanct.”

I call bullshit based on personal experience. When I started writing professionally, I made the same complaint to my editor over an assignment — “I just have too much to say.” And he made it clear: “If I’m paying you to write it in 200 words, you’ll write it in 200 words, because there are five other people who will do it if you can’t.” And he was right.

But more importantly, when I did focus on word counts, I found something amazing happened — my writing got better. I was able to say more in less words by simply focusing on choosing the right ones. It forced me to carefully consider every sentence, then every word in every sentence. Every pass, I found something that could be reworded more efficiently, or a detail that wasn’t critical. I just had to put my ego aside and think about what was best for the story.

It’s no different with inflatable fiction; I use the same process when writing dirty stories. It’s the difference between a story suitable for masturbation, and a story that’s masturbation itself. Guess which one is more shameful.

To say 750 words are not enough to write an inflation story is to deny — or perhaps compliment? — all the people who did it last year in 500. Shakespeare said “Brevity is the soul of wit” and he’s got backup: according to some of the greatest fiction writers of our generation — none of which, I’m guessing, are writing inflation fiction under a different name — you’ve got approximately 744 more words than you actually need. Check out this inspirational six-word short story collection.

It takes effort to write efficiently; the Prose That Blows competitions are challenges. But efficient writing also takes a healthy dose of honesty about your own abilities and motivations for writing in the first place.

So whether you didn’t know how to write to a word count or you were simply unwilling to write to a word count, you have what you need to do it now.

And it only took me 584 words to give it to you.

She’s Mine – inflatable bras from Japan

Posted By on October 19, 2010

Because going up a cup size with the help of inflatable pads is the universal language.

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Prose that Blows 3 announced!

Posted By on September 25, 2010

These contests are fun and they keep everybody sharp…and stocked with fresh inflation stories. Go here for the details and start thinkin’ about your story.

Erotica vs. Smut

Posted By on September 6, 2010

I don’t have any illusions about my interest in inflation; it’s sexual. I get turned on by it. It is what it is. But be that as it may, my personal tastes have never run to the explicit. Traditional “girlie mags” have never done much for me; when I pick up Playboy, I really do read the articles, which means stuff like Hustler has never been in my hands. My hard drive is not filled with photos of topless women, but girls in spandex or rubber or outfits of some kind, and the inflation is going on under that layer. I like a little more mystery than just a naked lady.

In the past I’ve said really nice things about the florid prose of Heliumgirl77 — to me, the sort of detailed, romantic writing seen in “Expectations” and the downright Kafkaesque “Nozzle” counts as inflation erotica. It’s racy, but the word choice is so specific and the situations she describes are so detailed that it just elevates the whole thing to above the level of what you would call porn.

So it’s with some surprise that I read tabackattack‘s latest story “The Inflation Part 1″ and found it extremely potent for me. If Heliumgirl77 writes like champagne, tabackattack pounds a beer. I recognize his stuff as well-written smut — graphic descriptions, well-established slang terms for anatomical parts, get-to-the-p0int storytelling. One of his stories, “Fill Me Up,” starts with what has to be one of the best first lines in inflation fiction: “They were fucking on the floor of his loft.” You can’t deny the direct tone, and I like that sometimes his endings are not clear — leaving it up to the reader is a narrative risk but one I appreciate. And while I didn’t personally connect with the inflation method of “Fill Me Up” or his blueberry-focused earlier stories, I always wondered what one of his stories would be like  if it was purely an inflation tale. And as luck would have it, he was apparently thinking the same thing.

There’s an immediacy to it — it’s very intense. It’s vulgar in parts, and it’s unblinking when it comes to describing the physical elements. Normally I would have thought I’d be completely turned off by it…but I was completely enthralled. At that moment, champagne be damned, I didn’t want inflation erotica — I wanted inflation smut. There are parts I think could be improved in the narrative but I conveniently ignored them and just enjoyed the hell out of it. It was a very good beer.

I don’t know if it’s that my tastes are simply evolving to appreciate new types of stories or if it’s a one-off fluke where I suddenly liked wallowing in the gutter. But I’m curious to see what happens in his promised part 2.